What is Limerence?
Limerence is a psychological state. It has been described as “a romantic obsession.” It’s not just the butterflies in your stomach or the excitement you feel when you see someone you like; it’s much more than that.
Limerence is an intense longing for another person, accompanied by idealization of them and their qualities. The feelings are so powerful that they can sometimes lead to extreme behaviors like stalking or other forms of harassment.
The exact cause of limerence is still unknown, but research suggests that it may involve brain chemicals called neurotransmitters such as dopamine (which controls reward and pleasure), serotonin (which regulates mood) and norepinephrine (which regulates arousal).
The Psychological Effects of Limerence
Limerence can have a profound effect on your mental health. The intense feelings of limerence may lead to depression, anxiety and other mood disorders.
Limerence can also impact your physical health by causing insomnia or sleep disturbances, heart palpitations or rapid heartbeat , muscle tension and headaches.
If you’re experiencing limerence for someone who isn’t interested in you back, it may be difficult for them to concentrate on anything else besides the object of their affection–including work responsibilities or family obligations like spending time with their children or spouse/partner.
The Causes of Limerence
Limerence is caused by low self-esteem, unmet emotional needs and idealization of the other person.
Limerence is a form of addiction that can be triggered by any number of situations in which you feel like you’re not good enough or don’t have what it takes to be loved by someone else. It can also happen when you feel like your life isn’t going anywhere, so finding someone who appreciates all your hard work becomes an obsession–and then limerence develops when this person doesn’t reciprocate the feelings (or even acknowledge them).
This type of love addiction is often rooted in childhood experiences where we were rejected by our parents or caregivers as children; because we didn’t receive enough love during those formative years, we seek out others who will give us what we need now as adults: affectionate touch, attention and validation from others who are deemed worthy enough to provide these things for us.*
Signs and Symptoms of Limerence
Limerence is characterized by obsessive thoughts, intrusive fantasies and physical symptoms. If you’re experiencing these signs of limerence, it’s important to understand that it’s not your fault–it’s just a natural response to being in love with someone who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. Here are some common signs:
Obsessive Thoughts – You think about the person nonstop. Even when you’re at work or doing something else that requires concentration, their face will pop into your mind unbidden.
Intrusive Fantasies – Your brain constantly conjures up images of what life would be like if they were yours (and vice versa). This can be anything from imagining them calling you up out of nowhere one day and professing their undying love for you all the way down to simply picturing yourself holding hands as a couple on vacation somewhere tropical together!
Physical Symptoms – These include sweating profusely whenever they’re around; feeling lightheaded etc.